Saturday, January 10, 2015

Can one man really change the world?

To be honest, I have no clue. I can only hope to change the man that is in the world around me. 2014 was a good year in many respects, but I am not sad to see it leave. As I sit here writing this I am recovering from my second knee surgery. The first one I had 4+ years ago being a total fail. While I've been sitting here for the last month it has given me a lot of time to think about my life. I have reflected some on the past, but mostly I'm trying to look towards the future. A lot of people these days people pick a word they are trying to adhere to for the new year. Grow, achieve, strength, and peace are but a few I have seen. I won't say that I am going to jump on the band wagon for this new trend but I have come up with a word, a sentiment that resonates very deeply inside of me and has been building up for a very long time. Reclaim.

I had actually planned on writing this long poetic post about how I had come to this point. I think I've changed my mind. I've decided that I'm tired of looking back. I'm tired of hanging on to thoughts and memories that are more like chains. I'm beginning to feel like an old Jacob Marley meandering my way through my existence. I'm taking my life back. Physically, mentally, emotionally.

Instead,  I'm going to write about the things I hope to achieve in this new year. Not resolutions necessarily...just hopes.

 Bet you can't guess what numero uno is, can you? Yeah the whole weight battle continues on. I'm really hoping that with this new surgery I can finally start getting out and doing more, moving more, with less fatigue and pain. It's hard to believe how much one measly little knee can inhibit your whole life, but it really does. I realize my weight issues only exacerbate the problem, but tic for tac. I need something to give a little in one direction to make the other right, you know? Heather has been beating paleo for a couple of years now and it has done wonders for her. While I don't necessarily want to take my diet as far as she does, I'm hoping I can play off of her and make some drastic improvements on my intake. One thing has to lead to another, right?

Last Christmas my sisters went in together and  gave me a new Canon Rebel T3 digital slr camera. It was one of the best, my thoughtful gifts I had ever received. Photography, aside from music really has been my biggest passion in life. I used to have to a beautiful canon slr 35mm camera but due to unfortunate circumstances we had to part ways. I want to get out and use that camera as much as I possibly can this year. In '14 we started a postcard club with Highland Handmades where we went all over the state, every month, taking pictures of places, landmarks, etc.. I really want to continue on with that but I want to go further. When I was in high school I did actually managed to sell a few prints of my photos. I would love to do that again. I don't know if I could ever take it to a spot where it would be a livable income, but even if it just gave us some savings or extra spending cash it would be a dream come true. I would also like to use some of those photos to start blogging more often. H and I take off on quite a few little adventures here and there and we have a lot of fun. I think it's time I start sharing more of it. I will start posting some of the pictures and stories here as time progresses but I did also start a flickr account to share the pictures. You can go to and check out some of the places we've been in '14. I do need to upload a bunch since I haven't really done any since September.

I've also finally taken on a new hobby. SEWING! (Gender smashing, for the win! haha) I'm still a novice and have a lot to learn but Heather is trying her best to teach me and bless her she has the patience of a saint. Let's see if I can conjure up a couple pictures of what I've done so far.

 I've also done three pillowcases which at the moment I'm having trouble locating pictures of, a bunch of catnip toys, and a project bag for Heather as well. I'm currently working on a controller caddy that will hang off the side of the couch and house the t.v. remote as well as the controllers for the Playstation and Xbox.
As time goes on I will keep posting pictures of finished projects. I still have so much to learn and I don't know how long this hobby will last but I'm having fun as I go. I actually gave away the project bag you see above in a contest and the person who won seemed quite happy so I guess I must be doing something right.

The other major thing I'd like to get done for '15 is to move out of Brownville. We are both so tired of living here. The guilt that weighs on me for making Heather stay here is honestly becoming unbearable.  She hates it here. She always has, but its becoming so pent up that it's pouring out. It has gotten to the point that it is truly unhealthy and affecting both of us physically and mentally. She is staying here for me and I can never show her how much I appreciate that. But I am not putting this on her. The fact of the matter is, I've gotten to the point I hate it as much as she does. I need a fresh start. This past August I actually thought we were going to be able to get out of here. We found a house we liked on a property we loved, we even started the buying process, getting financing, putting in a bid and then, the day after we put the bid in, they pulled it off of the market. We were honestly heartbroken. We put off looking for a place for the fall because we didn't want to move in the middle of winter and I needed to have surgery. At this point, I'm willing to buy a parcel of land and build a shack on it to live in. As long as we have room to sleep and for her to work that's all I care about. We want to get down closer to the coast. We have a bunch of friends who already live down there, and it is the area in the state we like best. Everything about it just makes sense. It's time to start the biggest adventure of them all.

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