Wednesday, January 5, 2011

A little bit of this, a little bit of that...

So I know the last few posts I have been some what of a downer. I'm sorry. I really need to start writing some more fun and uplifting posts. I know I have it in me I've just got to dig out the Bear side of me and put away the starkingly realistic side. Unfortunately there will be a little bit more of that in this post, but I promise I will try to make most of this a little more upbeat. 

I've made some decisions regarding the knee surgery. The decision right now is to put it off for approx. 4 months. When I left the Spidey's office the other day he scheduled me in for March 1st but told me if I wanted to I could make an appointment earlier to get things started sooner. I think for now we are going to stick with the March 1st appointment and here is why. 1) I'm fat. I'm not being self degrading or anything of the such, it's just pure fact. I am obese. I've always been big, ever since I was about 3 I've been a little bit above average. When I was in high school going through everything I was going through, I learned beer and whiskey were my friends. That and for whatever other reasons my weight went to a whopping 450 lbs. As of this morning I weigh 320 lbs.  Before I went in for my surgery this spring I was down to 278, but after sitting at home for a total of 6 months this year not being able to get around and do much because of my knee, my weight has skyrocketed. Spidey is willing to do the surgery at this weight but he has expressed concern not only in the recovery aspects but as well as the anaesthesia. He told me once I gave him the go ahead to book the surgery it would probably take at least 1.5 months - 2 months to book the O.R. so therefore I get the 4 months I need to shed as much weight as possible. Because of this my weight has become my No. 1 resolution this year. My goal is to lose a minimum of 2.5 lbs a week. If I can do this it will put me near the weight I was of the first surgery. Obviously if I can manage to lose more, that would be spectacular. I am trying to keep my goals realistic, however.  

The other determining factor in the delaying of the surgery is financial. After crunching the numbers so much that I became temporarily dyslexic I've determined right now it's just not do-able. I know 4 months isn't a lot of time to make a big financial impact on anything but I do believe we have come up with a plan that will make enough of an impact to make it an easier pill to swallow. Here's to keeping our fingers crossed that we stick to our guns.

The surgery has to happen. As Heather said in her blog, it's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when. I need the surgery. I've come to terms with that part of it. I'm slowly..very slowly coming to terms with the idea of putting the plate in my leg and how it will affect my life. 

One thing that I'm finding a little heart breaking is having to bail on my birthday goal. In early November I had decided to set a goal to get to 240 lbs by my birthday on August 29th so that I could go skydiving in September. Skydiving is something I've wanted to do for as long as I could remember. I finally had made the resolve to do it. Amazingly I had 4 friends offer their moral support and agree to jump with me if I could lose the weight. That was really slap in the face of reality. It made me realize just how lucky I am to have the friends that I do. I mean, really, do you have friends that would agree to jump out of plane for you without even giving it a literal minute of thought? I still want to do the jump but I think we're going to have to postpone it for a year.

So that is that about the knee. Things may change but for right now that is the tentative plan. 

How were your holidays? Mine were great. The one upside of being home with an injury is that I get to spend a little more time with friends, family and my wife. I was able to make some rounds the few days before Christmas and catch up. Something I haven't been able to do the last few years. We went to my Aunt and Uncle's Christmas eve afternoon and enjoyed a couple hours over there. I think the best time was the hour long nerf gun war we got into with my nephew. It's been quite a while since I've had that much fun.  I'm not a big one for receiving gifts but I've got to admit, Heather knocked it out of the park this year. We have a long standing tradition of opening a gift on Christmas Eve and this year she gave me Donkey Kong Country Returns for the Wii. It's awesome. My brother came over that night and the three of us stayed up til about midnight playing it. It was about the best Christmas eve you could ask for. 

She also got me the entire Harry Potter book series, I love the movies but I have never found the chance to read the books so it was an excellent gift. She got me the new Trans-Siberian Orchestra cd which kicks ass, as well as a new work light for the garage. Finally she surprised me with a photographers gift pass to the Maine Wildlife Park. The Maine Wildlife Park is basically what it sounds like, you can check it out here The photographers pass is a special permit where a guide takes you around before or after hours and actually takes you in the enclosures with the animals so you can get unimpeded photos. My brother has graciously agreed to let me borrow his digital SLR camera for the shoot. I am super psyched about this gift.  My in laws also bought me a gorgeous New England Patriots hoody and my brother in law and sister in law bought me Cabelas' Dangerous Hunts 2011 for the wii. I made out like a bandit this year!

New Year's eve went pretty similarly to Christmas Eve. Lot's of Wii. It was quiet with a couple beers. Even though Heather suffered a migraine later in the night overall it was a good time. 

So, now that the subject of New Year's has been brought up, I guess it's time for some resolutions. 

My resolutions this year really aren't all that creative. I'm stealing most of them from the list I posted earlier last year. I'm definitely willing to add things as I go through the year but here's what I have so far. 

1) the weight thing. it's kind of a needed thing obviously

2) Take my nephew out for another day. I took him out to McDonald's and to see Iron Man 2 this summer. It wasn't much but he said it was awesome. Maybe this year we can do something a little more

3) Go to the Penobscot Observatory. My sister and I almost went this past fall. If it hadn't been for an hour long wait to get in we would have. This year it's a must. Get ready, sis.

4) Get lost. I'm going to be home for 6 months. I think, just maybe I can find some time to go for a ride and try to get lost. If I can somehow just lose my uncanny sense of direction I'll be all set

5) Go camping at least 3 times. Again, I'm going to have some time recovering. I should be able to devote some of it to sitting around a campfire getting eaten alive by mosquitos. 

6) Read. Read. Read. I have 17 books on the waiting list to be read. That's not including some of the classic lit that I want to delve into.  I don't think I will get all 17 read this year so my goal is going to be 14. 

7) Write the third chapter of Heather's story. It's been a few years since I wrote 'There Be Beasties' and I think she deserves the next step. 

For now that is it I guess. If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to leave me comments. I'm always up for ideas for resolutions or opinions. If you have anything, Spit it out!

See ya folks

1 comment:

Fox In Detox said...

Hang in there, Bear. You lost the weight once, you can do it again. I'm learning to not let it consume me. I meditate on the simplicity of weight loss... you eat less, and move more you lose weight. I know the moving part is going to be tough for you, but there are still some things you can do. Any movement is good movement. I'm routing for you here in cyber land!